It has been a long time....

Today is October 2nd, 2016 and it has been so many years since I posted anything on this blog.

I had a friend over tonight after a long night at work who out of the blue asked me if I had lost children.  It made me happy that he asked me because it gave me an opportunity to tell there story.  I showed him the shadow boxes on the wall in my home and told him about the pain of our loss, but more importantly the lessons and joy that have come from the pain.

Lessons about how much more I love my daughter Megyn and truly cherish the time I get to spend with her.

He confided in me later that it gave him a different perspective about things and Cathi and I's goal has always been to talk openly about out loss in the hopes that parents hug their children tighter; gaze at them longer with more appreciation of their existence and to really take the time to look past the frustrations of the annoyance that our children can cause us when they call mommy and daddy too many times and to just be thankful they need us and love us.

Cathi and I now have a beautiful 6 and a half year old daughter, Megyn who is the most perfect child. I still think often about how fortunate we really our to have her in our life.

I don't know if anyone ever reads this stuff and really don't care.  Over the past 8 years I have only cried a handful of times in grief of my children.  It's not because I am cold or heartless, but because I never really get to grieve.  Life is always moving on.  My job doesn't care or remember my loss, even my parents just want me to "get over it."  The truth is; YOU NEVER GET OVER IT.  It is part of you forever.

I got to cry for a short time tonight when my friend asked about them and I got to remember them.  I didn't have to hold up my wife while she cried or tell someone else that it was okay because just me telling the story was too much for them to deal with.  My friend just listened and when he left, I wrote this and had a good healthy cry.  If anyone does still read this,
Thank you

Logan

~~2 years~~

It has been two years since we gave birth to Raiden and lost him so early. I laid in bed for weeks trying to save the other two triplets. Sometimes I ask "why" why god did you put me through the weeks of hell...hell on my body... hell on my emotions, only to take them anyway.... Well I have found comfort in knowing, I gave up weeks of my life; weeks of my dignity to have the special moments with my kids. We got to change their diapers, see them open their eyes for the first time. We got precious time with them that we would have never had if we hadn't fought so hard. I understand it was worth it. Most people in our world have forgotten Logan and I have even had triplets. Most people think because we had Megyn our hearts are fine and we should move on and forget about our loss.

Well for anyone who has lost a child you realize this cannot be done. This year I was a wreck. My emotions have hit me harder than I could have ever anticipated. I found myself the night before Raiden's birthday sitting in my closet crying so hard I really wasn't sure I would be able to stop. I was rummaging though my box of keep sakes trying to find Raiden's scent. I can still remember the way be smelled. I wanted so desperately to smell that again. I still have his blankets and his outfit. The pain I felt was overwhelming. I found myself home alone and having a full blown panic attack.

My daughter Megyn is 10 months old. She goes to bed at 8 pm and sleeps 12 hours. She never wakes up at night. While I was in my state of panic...I thought I heard something. I walked into the hallway and heard the faintest little voice...."mama" "mama" I peaked into Megyn's room there she was at 10 pm standing up in her crib smiling at me saying "mama" I picked her up and sat in her rocking chair. She usually is to "busy" to let me rock her anymore, but on this night she sat in my lap babbling at me and smiling. For over 20 minutes Megyn let me hold her and talk to her, she snapped me out of my sadness.

This story makes me know, my triplet angels Raiden, Ryker, and Gwyn are never very far from me. I know they are watching over us....They used Megyn to helped their mommy this night.

We took Megyn to their grave site on Raiden's birthday. We let her release a balloon for her brother. She was wearing her "little sister" "to three Angels" t-shirt. I was a very special moment.

For Logan and I the pain of loosing our children is still very fresh, just because we have Megyn we haven't forgotten how much we miss and love our triplets.

Thoughts

It's been a while since I have posted on here, Cathi usually does most of the posting...Losing our babies was the worst thing that I have ever experienced by far; Cathi and I have handled it great (we think). There certainly is no handbook for this kind of thing...You think you are planning to bring home three children and in an instance, you are planning their funeral and how to pay for their head-stone instead of their diapers. Now that we have our daughter Megyn after a tense 8 months, we have never been happier...Seeing how cute and awesome our daughter is, makes me often wonder, just how cute and awesome the triplets would have been...I know they would have been gorgeous...

For those of you who visit this blog because you too have lost your child or children, it is truly a unique experience and wound that may never heal; im not sure I want to heal from the pain...I take solace in the fact that I am the only man who got to kiss Gwyn and that my little boys Raiden and Ryker were such heros for their sister...Having lost the triplets have given Cathi and I and amazing perspective that parents who have not lost their children will never know...The love we feel for Megyn is that much stronger because we have lost or triplets...I will never forget those little munchkins despite the short amount of time we had together; I think of them everyday and consistently shed tears for them...This pain will never end, but in the long run, it will give me continued appreciation for Megyn...

Memories

This picture comes from a very special friend Nan, who also lost her angels too soon. Thank you for keeping our triplet angels memory alive.

Are Angels are looking over us......

God has blessed us with the best three Guardian angels Gwyn, Raiden, and Ryker. Today we found out they are expecting asibling. Please join us on the journey at http://www.thisisourlongjourney.blogspot.com/

Written In Stone

After everything that Cathi and I have been through...The truth is finally written in stone...It is hard to express the emotion that is brought about when you see your name written on a tombstone. As we both gazed upon the names of our children, the feelings of pain and joy are overwhelming. The pain reminded both of us of the loss that we have received over the past several months...But more than that was the joy in seeing the names of our precious babies engraved in stone forever on this earth...If it wasn't for the generosity of the members of the City that we work for, we would never be able to make this happen. Cathi and I feel so blessed that we have had the opportunity to be in the presence of our beautiful children and we are so very grateful to the men and women of the City who came together in this very stressful time to assist us, which resulted in what you see here.

Cathi and I now have a place that we can go whenever we want to visit our children and show our love. There is a permanent place for them to receive flowers and gifts...As strange as it sounds, we have found comfort in this piece of metal and stone...I can now reach down and feel their names and dates, punched roughly into the center of this headstone...Surrounding their names are multiple hearts, which for me, represent all the people who came together to show their love; for not only the children, but for Cathi and I.

A day has not gone by, that I do not cry for my children...At work, at home, on a lonely car ride to where ever, I mourn the loss of the most precious gift ever given to me...Cathi and I were so genuinely happy to have the blessing of three children and yet at the same time, they were stripped from us so soon.

Thank you all so much for those who have supported us during the most difficult experience we have ever faced in our lives.

Cathi and I are looking forward to the future and we know now that we have three precious angels in heaven watching over us that will bless us with more children...

Angel Tattoo's

Logan and I got tattoo's yesterday of the babies actual feet prints. A friend of ours is a tattoo artist and did an awesome job capturing the actual details of their little feet. :) Little Raiden's foot is the small one, Gwyn's is the skinny one and Ryker is the big one on the right.....Enjoy

Names in the Sand

A wonderful woman who lives in Australia will write the names of baby angels. She has done this for over a year and does it out of the goodness of her heart. I sent in Raiden Ryker and Gwyn to be written. They were all done during a beautiful Australian sunset. To see the entire web posting go to www.namesinthesand.blogspot.com Scroll down on the left side and click on their names. It is a beautiful website and an awesome way to celebrate our Angels. We wanted to share this experience with everyone.

"A Journey To Forever"

Raiden, Gwyn, and Ryker have all moved on to a better place and though they are not with us now, they will forever be in our hearts and souls.

Our children are our Family and they always will be. In the future when Cathi and I have more children, they will always have 2 brothers and a sister.

Cathi commemorated their memory by creating the shadow boxes shown in the photo to the left. These boxes are placed between Cathi and I's bedroom and the children's nursery. Cathi and I are still mourning the loss of our babies, but we will always think of our children as a great blessing to us despite the short time we had with them.

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW

To: Raiden, Ryker and Gwyn

Many a lonely moment;
Often a silent tear;
But always a beautiful memory
of THREE who were so dear.

Their memory is our keepsake
From which we shall never part
God has them in His keeping.
We have them in our hearts,

Friends may think we have forgotten
When at times they see us smile,
Little do they know the heartache
That our smile hides all the while.

We mourn for them in silence,
No one can see us weep
But many silent tears are shed

While others are asleep.

God gave us strength to fight it
And courage to bear the blow,
But what it meant to lose them

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW



Author Unknown



PS: Thank you so much Heidi...This poem explains exactly what we cannot..You are a true gem...In memory of your Little Angel Alexa :)

To My Precious Angels

To My precious Angels: Raiden, Ryker, and Gwyn

The happiest day of my life was learning I was carrying three precious babies.
I got to feel you grow inside of me everyday. All three of you had individual personalities while growing inside. Your Daddy and I just new Raiden and Ryker were boys. You were always rough housing inside my belly while Gywn tried to sleep. All three of you were always so close.

On 10-14-08 I was rushed to the hospital in fear I would suddenly loose all three of you. Well I held on until 10-17, Raiden you decided you wanted to meet us too early. Even though our time with you was cut short, you WERE and WILL always be my first born….Thank you Raiden Landon Long for making me a true mommy…

After I delivered Raiden suddenly, I did what any determined mother would do. I held on to Gywn and Ryker for another month. The doctors explained that it had rarely been accomplished, but I was determined. Unfortunately I went back into labor on 11/12. I was so scared but also so excited to meet you two little babies; who for the past month had been cuddled so close that the nurses couldn’t even track your heartbeats, you were so close your hearts beat exactly the same.

Your daddy spent the entire first night of your lives with you while I recovered. He brought pictures to me but it wasn’t until I got to see you for the first time that my heart truly melted.

Ryker London, You were such a beautiful little baby. You loved to keep your hands by your head, or close to your mouth. It drove the nurses crazy because they always tried to put your hands down by your sides. Your Daddy and I were there the day they took the lights away from your body. Your Daddy and I looked down at you as you opened your eyes for the first time. You were so precious; it was the best day of my life.

Gwyneth Bella you were the most delicate little pumpkin. You had the most feminine features. You held my little finger so tight. You were such a determined little girl. You had so much of my personality. My mom always wished I would have a little girl that would make me worry late at night, well in 18 short days you made your father and I go through every emotion of being a parent. You smiled at us all of the time. You would also hold on to what ever wires were around you. You wanted so badly to suck your tiny little thumb, just like your mommy used to.

Today you all lie together again. This is and will be the hardest day of my life. I hope you are all comfy wrapped in your little blankets and cuddled up to your little woobies. Raiden, Ryker and Gwyn… You gave your Daddy and me the best few months of our lives. Thank you all for letting us realize what really matters in life. You have touched more lives in a few short weeks than most get to in a life time. Thank you sweet babies for choosing me as your mommy…I will love you ALWAYS….

Funeral Services

Funeral services will be held Friday December 5th at 1pm at the Calvary Catholic Cemetery on US Hwy 19 N. and Bryan Dairy road. This is an open service for anyone who would like to attend.

If you are unable to make the service, but feel Raiden, Ryker, or Gwyn have touched you in some way, we ask that you take a moment of silence at 1pm on Friday for our special Angels.

A fathers "True" love!!!

A fathers “TRUE” love. I have always heard the term Daddy’s little girl, But I never really understood it until the day my little girl Gwyneth Bella went to heaven. In the late night hours of November 30th Early morning of December 1st. Logan and I called the NICU as we do every night to get an update on Gwyn. We were informed that they needed to do lifesaving measures to her.

Logan and I rushed into the hospital and made it just in time to hold our precious Angel. She was so beautiful. Logan thinks she looked like me because she had my lips. The hardest part of the night was not watching my precious Gwyn leave this earth to be with her brothers, it was watching the true anguish of a man who had been holding together so strong for several weeks. No words can describe a father’s love for his daughter. I know there is a special bond between me and my dad, but I never truly got it until I watched my husband with his little girl. It brought true joy to me watching him with her.

We got 18 wonderful days with our little fighter. She decided for herself that she missed her brothers too much to continue to fight any further. Looking back on it, Logan and I realize we were being extremely selfish to believe that Gwyn would want to be here on earth with us. Gwyn needed to be with her brothers.

These babies were so close if you go back through the old posts you will see references to baby A and B playing together. Well baby A was Raiden, B was Ryker, and Baby C was Gwyn. When we lost Raiden, Gwyn took comfort in her brother’s arms. She laid so close to Ryker the entire time I was in the hospital. The nurses had to track the babies’ heartbeats everyday, they always thought they had the same baby because their hearts beat as one.

I love my children with all of my heart. One day I will understand why we are going through all of this. Right now I take great comfort in knowing I got to truly love my children for their short time on this earth. They touched more people in their short time here than most do in a lifetime.

I am truly blessed to have a wonderful loving and caring husband. Logan has always been there for me. I couldn’t have asked for a better man. We want to thank each and everyone of you who has prayed for our family. Thank you

Out of The Spotlight

After over a week of being in the Spotlight, this little superstar has gotten to take off her cool sunglasses and show us her pretty face...One of the nurses put a pink ribbon in her hair that you see on the photograph...

With everything that has happened in the past few months it is so hard to stay positive; but then, we look at this pretty face and can't help but turn to moosh....

Gwyn is so cute, but so fystie...She has to have it her way...She doesn't like a lot of noise, and she refuses to stay in the position that the nurses put her in....

One nurse tried to move her arms to her side, and she responded by waving them in the air, then putting them as far out the sides away from her body as she could...She is so defiant and has such a personality...

There is not much to update, she is still critical, but stable...There are so many things going on that it is difficult for me to even understand, let alone relay to everyone reading...Cathi and I remain positive and I will continue to update as much as possible with new pictures and stories despite the exhaustion of the NICU....

Yeah Gwyn!

A Brother’s Love

On November 22, 2008 Ryker London Long, the youngest of two brothers and one of a set of triplets passed on to a better place…Ryker decided for himself that he was too good for this earth and could do a better job of protecting his little sister Gywn by being with his brother Raiden in heaven…Cathi and I stayed with Ryker for several hours as he slowly left us, wondering again, what God has in store for our family…

Despite massive brain bleeds and damage to several parts of Ryker’s brain, along with multiple issues with his organs, Ryker lasted ten days on this earth…In those ten days Ryker had more influence on more people than some do in an entire lifetime…All of his nurses loved him so much and took amazing care of him…I think they may have had a little crush on him; “That’s my boy; a little ladies man!”

Cathi and I were so fortunate to see many of Ryker’s amazing “firsts.” We got to see Ryker take his first poop, but most of all we were able to be there when our little boy opened his eyes for the first time…He had big beautiful eyes…He was too young still to be able to tell what color they were, but they were gorgeous just the same…

Many people say that it takes time before you can tell who the baby looks like; especially with preemies, and even more so with micro preemies like Ryker; HOWEVER, there was no doubt that Ryker was our son…It was obvious Ryker had Cathi’s toes, cause one of them curved a little just like Cathi’s; Ryker had my cowlick in his hair; we are not sure which nose he has, but it’s a beautiful one….Ryker unmistakably has my chin…There is never any doubt when someone has a pronounced chin like mine, along with my thin little bird lips…As I watched him die, he looked at Cathi and I with those beautiful eyes in a confused but peaceful way and I thought I was looking at myself…

I will not whine to you all about the tremendous pain and suffocating emotion that Cathi and I are enduring at this moment…Instead, I will leave you by saying that with great pain will come great joy and our daughter is still hanging in there…There are no answers to why we are going through this, but I can assure you this too shall pass and we will endure with grace and one day be joyful again….

Thank you all for your concern and prayers

Logan

NICU Disclaimer

The previous post was to thank everyone who has helped care for Cathi and the babies while they were in the womb. Now that Ryker and Gywn are in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) there are a whole new set of doctors and nurses who are caring for our babies.....

I must warn everyone who follows this blog, that despite the power of positive thinking, love of two deserving parents, and the miracles of modern medicine, Ryker and Gywn remain critically ill in the NICU.....

We have good days and bad days and unfortunately, recently, we have had a string of bad days that has overwhelmingly exhausted the both of us.

If you have failed to hear from us via phone, email, or any other form of communication, we truly apologize but it has taken every bit of strenght that we have to endure the draining and emotional daily visits of the NICU...We know that all of you who follow our story care deeply for Cathi, me, and our babies and it has not gone un-noticed...When Cathi and I recover from this obstacle in our life, we will do our best to individually thank everyone of you...

With great pain will come great joy....eventually.....we hope....Thank you all for you support and love through this most difficult of times...

Logan

Thanks to All

Hello to everyone.....

This is not really an update because Cathi and I are in a difficult situation that is requiring our full attention....I do not want to give false updates, false hopes, or false fears to all of those who are concerned for our babies....

I do; however, want to extend a special thanks to the doctors and nurses who have shared their time, tears, prayers, hopes and fears with Cathi and I as we traversed the most difficult time in our lives...Cathi and I are one of the strongest, most loving, and best communicating couples that could ever exist.....Cathi and I share everything and we are best friends; when one suffers, the other suffers just as much....I truly am impressed and moved by the compassion and love that was portrayed by all of the nurses who cared for my wife...

I did my very best to be with Cathi 24 hours a day when she was in the hospital...I did my best as a husband to be there for her and help her maintain her dignity as a women, wife, and mother...When I could not be there, the nurses that took care of her were the greatest blessing I could ever ask for...At one point during Cathi's hospital stay, I lost my first born son to an early delivery....It was not his time and he was too good for this earth...Dacia, Mandy, Cindy, Kelly, Darcy, Peggy, Cynthia, Nicole, Hailey, Tracy, Heather, and Kamona (I think that is right) were consistently there to assist Cathi and I with the aftermath of this time...Their compassion and warmth really helped Cathi and I make it through this difficult time...All of you were more than Cathi and I could ever expect from anyone and you truly could never know the profound impact that you have had on our life and our experience in the hospital....

As a loving husband and father, you all allowed me to help my wife in the best way possible and never complained when I had a request.....Words cannot express my thanks and gratitude for the professionalism and respect that you gave Cathi and I.....In the last few months, Cathi and I have felt pain that has scarred our souls for the rest of our lives....We have endured wounds that will never heal and have been suffocated by the overwhelming trauma of losing a child....If it had not been for the sincere assistance and compassion of the aforementioned nurses, I am not sure Cathi and I could have endured....We will remember you all for the rest of our days....Thank you, thank you, thank you....

We know that there are many more people to thank that have been instrumental in our care and if we have left anyone out, it is not that we have not thought of you and love you for the care and compassion that you have given us.....As far as doctors go, there were so many that were in and out of our room during treatment, that we could not possibly begin to name them all; Obviously Dr. Ramier, Dr. Prieto, and Dr. Montenegro are our primary caretakers and made this whole experience possible....Through good and bad, you all have given us expert advice and treatment and we could not ask for anything other than that regardless of the outcome....Dr. Burke and Dr. Bradshaw Graham, you guys were awesome and more than supportive...Thank you!

Exclusive Photos Not To Be Seen In The Tabloids

This is a world exclusive opportunity for anyone visiting this site, I again apologize to any parents reading this, because you will surely be jealous of the perfection, which has been created in Bayfront Hospital...Cathi has given birth to the most perfect children on earth and you all get to see some of the first pictures!!!!

I have spent the past few days pushing away media and fighting paparazzi in the hallways...The pictures you see below, which have been posted over the past few days are exclusive photographs of actual angels on earth...Enjoy the photos, they are truly priceless artifacts of our time...

Cathi and Logan's celebrity babies are receiving top treatment in one of the best NICU's in the world...They have been obtaining first class VIP treatment by the most well-trained nurses and doctors that walk this earth...I spoke earlier with one of the doctor's who had just finished conducting rounds on the babies, and she informed me that God himself said these babies are perfect in every way...God refused an exclusive interview, simply saying, "I think my work here says enough!" DON'T FORGET TO SCROLL DOWN...I TEND TO PUT ON TWO OR THREE POSTS AT A TIME!!!

DISCLAIMER:

My egotistical banter about God and his newly created angels is in no way Blasphemy and not intended to offend anyone, it is simply a defense mechanism to maintain ones sanity...ENJOY!

All Smiles!

Despite the tummy tube and breathing tube in her mouth, Gwyn is the most photogenic baby in the world...It was no different during Ultrasounds when she would make poses for the camera and smile...Although she is fighting hard to learn to breathe and fix her collapsed lung, Gwyn keeps a smile on her face...I love to watch her, because she really looks as if she is smiling all of the time and she looks so much like Cathi...

As soon as I think she is resting, I begin to step

away to look at her brother, and she starts fighting for attention...Her little chest will jump and she will take a breathe, then she will start wiggling her little piggy toes and move her hands, so that her daddy will give her more attention...

I apologize to any other parents who are reading this and seeing this little girl, because you surely must be jealous of how gorgeous she is...She just has the most perfect features...AND WHAT A PERSONALITY!!!

VIP Treatment

Everyone likes to see pictures of newborn babies and how precious they are and this instance is no different...I apologize for not having them up sooner, but we have been pulled in several different directions. This picture is a close up of Ryker as his soft blue lights shine on him to prevent a condition called Jaundice.

Ryker went under the blue lights because the brighter white light that Gwyn has did not cover him enough...Both of the lights, though, different, accomplish the same goal...

It has only been a day and a half since their birth, but I can already brag about what great people my little one are becoming...Ryker has been placed on a ventilator that breathes for him and it was initially set at 40 BPM (breathes per minute)...My little man being the overachiever that he is, was at one point breathing at 60 BPM....He likes to "ride the machine" for a little while; then when his strength is up, he breathes on his own with the machine, which is a good sign...I went to see him last night before bed and told him to breathe and he started breathing on his own so fast...It nearly brought me to tears...When he becomes strong enough to breathe on his own, they will take that tube out of his mouth....He looks so comfy in his little bed of sheepskin, which is a soft cotton like substance they put in there to keep him comfy...The blue lights make him look as if he is hanging out in a night club VIP section...

The nurses in the NICU are so amazing and so well trained...Ryker and Gwyn get non-stop VIP treatment...I think some of the girls in there may have a crush on this handsome little fellow...GO RYKER!!!

Happy Birthday Baby Boy

Today, November 12th, 2008 at 1646 hrs, Ryker was born and was a wopping 1 pound 11 ounces...His little sister was born one minute later (see below)...Ryker is doing fairly well considering all things...He is on a breathing machine in the NICU...There are not many words for the hurricane of emotion that is tearing me apart right now....I am truly a broken man being held together by the images of my new children...I have been bouncing back and forth from the NICU to Cathi's room...The babies and Cathi are some what critical in their condition...I choose this picture and the one below because it has my hands in them to show just how small the babies are...They certainly are gifts from God and they are in his hands...I cannot even express the joy I feel meeting them and the fear I feel for the long road ahead...I walk around these places in a paradox of fulfillment and emptiness...I know our little angel Raiden is watching over them from heaven and pray they will be healthy...I have truly never felt so helpless, worthless, and drained as a person, a husband, and a father...but do not worry for me, I get rest when I can and starbucks has helped keep me fueled...I am excited to be getting my wife back soon and we will continue to hold each other up...Many of you have told me that you like my writing and I apologize if its a little off, I am tired...Please enjoy the photos and keep up the prayers...

Logan

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

Today, November 12th, 2008 at 1647 hrs, Gwyn was born, which was only one minute after her big brother Ryker. I only mention Gwyn because as we all know, "ladies come first."

As you can see in the picture, Gwyn is quite small, 1 pound and 5 ounces small. Her waist is about 16 cm, the smallest it will ever be, so I never want to hear her complain about being fat. Gwyn is a fystie little one...Despite one of her lungs collapsing, she is fighting with all her strength to overcome her prematurity. You can't tell from the picture, but she looks just like Cathi up close. They have tubes in her stomach and down her throat to assist with feeding and breathing....She is on a special breathing machine, that makes her look as if she is vibrating...It is truly scary looking, I thought at first she was having a seizure, but she is okay and they think she will go onto a regular breathing machine within the day...The NICU is an amazing place and I think Gwyn is probably the smallest....Forgive my writing, but it is 0354 in the morning right now and I have had no sleep.

A quick update on Cathi: She is in extreme pain; they gave her a C-section without an epideral and she is feeling all of her surgical wounds...She is also using a special breathing contraption because she is in danger of lung collapse due to a build up of fluids in the lungs...

As scary as all this sounds, we remain positive...Unfortunately Cathi was under when the babies were delivered and she has not yet been able to meet them. We are hopeful of the near future and know that all is in God's hands now...

HI Everyone, This is a picture of Me, Logan, and my parents. We were at one of my baby showers. I have made it to 25 and 1/2 weeks. We are very excited and continue to believe I can hold out until Christmas. My mom wants to write "do not open until Christmas" on my belly. I will tell you I am doing everything I can to make that happen. I am still on complete bed rest and have been this way for a month. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.....Boot camp, being shipped over seas after 911, divorce, college...nothing has been as hard as this, but at the same time none of those things had such a huge reward. Knowing that everyday I lay here without a "real" shower gives Gwyn and Ryker more of a chance to thrive makes this ALL worth it :) Our 3rd anniversary is next Sunday. It will be a little hard to celebrate it, but I am sure my creative husband has something cute planned. 26 weeks is Friday and that was another huge goal for us, the next goal is Thanksgiving. I just wanted to again thank all of our friends, family, and complete strangers for your thoughts and prayers...they are working. Feel free to email me anytime cathi1@live.com

Pet Therapy

A picture is worth a thousand words....That is about all I can say about this picture...The doctor just came in while I was typing this and told us that Cathi is in a very good category...As far as delayed delivery is concerned, she is in the category where the pregnancies usually go longer than shorter...Again, my wife has defied the odds...To give some perspective on this situation...One of our doctors has done this procedure 6 times in his career and it has only yielded one baby...Cathi will more than double that statistic when our babies are born alive and healthy!!!

Koko was sooooo happy to see her mommy and it truly made Cathi's day....It is amazing how just seeing and touching our beloved pet can change someones entire outlook on the day...Yesterday was very stressful for both of us and we both kind of felt worn out and tired....When koko came around, everything changed and our minds were redirected to a better place...

Please keep all of the prayers coming and we appreciate all of the continued support....

Logan

Happy Halloween!!!

Hello everyone and Happy Halloween!

I am sorry this is a day after Halloween, but yesterday was very busy for Cathi and I...We finally reached our first of many short term goals of 24 weeks...We are not out of the woods yet for the safety of our children but we are well on our way...Cathi has been doing amazing and continues to maintain a very positive outlook...The little men in the picture are decorations at the nurses station...Poor Cathi did not get to see them first hand because all she sees all day is the ceiling, so I took a picture and showed them to her...

The next post will be very cute, Our doctor put on Cathi's orders that she receive "pet therapy."

You can only imagine what that led to....

The Smell of Support

Hi again,

I just wanted to write a quick note to everyone and say thank you for all of the beautiful flowers that have been sent to Cathi's room...It makes our day every time another one is delivered...It is amazing also that the entire room has begun to smell of fresh flowers; all of Cathi's nurses consistently comment on the smell and how beautiful all of the arrangements are...Some of the other arrangements can be seen in the posting below this one...We are running out of room to put the flowers...It is a great problem to have, thank you all sooooo much....

You can also see my little make shift bed against the window ledge...There is a chair in the room that I have converted to a sleeping space...This is where all of the writing gets done...I am fortunate to be able to stay here with Cathi day and night with no complaints from the nursing staff...I don't get much sleep here due to the consistent check-ups from various nursing staff and doctors throughout the night, but it is much better than being away from Cathi...Oh, did I forget to mention, that multiple times throughout the night, I also have the pleasure of watching Bayflite just outside my window...The windows rattle a bit from the loud noise, but it's cool to see the helicopter all the time....

Thanks again

Logan

Home Away From Home

Hello Everyone,

Cathi and I want to start off by saying that we more than appreciate all of the phone calls, emails, and offers for assistance during this most difficult of situations...Never in our lives have we been suffocated by so much emotion...The pain of loss is certainly overwhelming; however, Cathi and I remain very positive about the two remaining children that Cathi is working so hard to keep in so they can grow strong and healthy...

Many times in life we are all faced with challenges that truly test us and the ones that we love...However, we all have a choice as to whether we give in to the obstacle and collapse, or rise above what is in front of us and overcome what seems to be the impossible...The loss of our son is something that neither of us will ever quite overcome, on the other hand, we see what our son has given us...Raiden has given his little brother and sister a better chance at a healthy life and for that we are very thankful...There are blessings in almost every tragedy and this situation is no exception...Since Raiden has passed away, his little brother, Ryker and his little sister, Gywn are flourishing...There heartbeats remain around 150 - 160 beats per minute...Cathi is on strict bed rest and has no privileges...As hard as it is for her, she has remained in the best of spirits and we are both thankful for every additional day that she goes without complications...I have been staying at the hospital every day and night trying to help Cathi the best way I know how...I feel very fortunate to have such a wonderful person in my life...I am so thankful that Cathi has been consistently up-beat and steadfast through this entire ordeal...It is because of her, that I have been able to hold myself up these past few weeks...

Cathi is now 23 weeks and two days...Halloween is the next benchmark...On 10/31/08 the babies will have a chance to survive in the outside world in the event they are born prematurely...Obviously this is not the best scenario, but it is the first of many short term goals we have set in what seems to be an infinite journey...

Again, thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers and support...Cathi may start seeing visitors soon; however, right now it is still difficult and we are mostly trying to get to the benchmark of viability...Please do not hesitate to write an email or post a comment on this blog...We are checking it everyday in the hospital room and I am doing my best to keep everyone updated via this site...

Take care,

Logan

Too Good For This World

Hello,

Cathi and I appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers that have been bestowed upon us by all of you in the past few days…Cathi was doing awesome this morning, to the point where they began to unplug a lot of the machines that she was plugged into…Unfortunately it was a little too soon…Today (10/17/08) at 1443 hrs, my first born son was brought into this world…He was 15oz and came out kicking and punching like a little warrior…I actually watched as his heart beat inside of his fragile chest…Cathi and I were able to talk to and hold onto our precious son Raiden Landon Long for one full hour as his heart beat and he tried to gasp for air….Little Raiden was born at 22 weeks; two weeks before the date when he could survive outside of the womb…Raiden passed away in our arms an hour after he was born…Raiden now rests with us in our room, swaddled in soft clothing with angels on them…Cathi and I believe Raiden sacrificed himself so that he could protect his little brother and sister who are still fighting to make it…Cathi is back on the meds and plugged back into the machines….

The other two of the triplets are still doing great and Cathi is maintaining her composure and strength…This experience I can say without hesitation, has shaken us both at our very core…This pain has scarred our souls and cannot be mended even with time….Raiden will remain in our hearts and souls until we meet him again in heaven…The pain has only been comforted by the fact that we are still holding on to our other two precious blessings…I will tell you all that Raiden is the most beautiful child I have ever seen…His features are absolutely perfect and he fought so amazingly to stay alive even though nothing could be done, he was way too good for this world and we were not ready for such an amazing person…

I appreciate having our extended family at the department to vent with…all of you keep asking what you can do…Cathi and I ask that you not visit, for we are not in a place to see others…You can visit by sending Cathi flowers…The flowers already sent have fragranced the room and it is a welcome change to the sterile smell of the hospital….We also ask that you pray for our other two children who are still growing…We know Raiden is watching over them and that he will help us…
Cathi and I will have a burial service for Raiden in the future when we have overcome the remaining challenges that we face…Donations for the costs associated with the service are also appreciated but not expected, we know times are tough these days...It is a surreal time we are in now; having to grieve for the loss of our son, but remain excited for the son and daughter that remain…Children are a wonderful gift to those who are blessed to have them…Cathi and I realize that and feel blessed to have had the single hour we had with Raiden, we would not have changed it for anything... I am not an overly religious person, but I know this is somehow all part of God's plan…I did not realize today how much one could love another person…Please again, pray for our children and pray for Cathi and I for we do not know how to do this; we do not know how to manage the stress of the coming months…This obstacle is far from accomplished, and we are falling apart more everyday….Our love has truly held us together and gets stronger with every moment of this joyful and painful rollercoaster.

Lastly, I would ask that you all look at your children when you go home and tell them how much you love them and remind yourselves how blessed you are to have to change diapers, or listen to crying at night, or argue about some obscure adolescent problem…As much as that can be a pain, it is truly a privilege to experience…Cathi and I pray we will experience it soon…
Again thank you all for your thoughts and prayers…

Logan Long (Proud New Father)

Defying All Odds

Hello everyone,

I apologize for not writing sooner, but things have been getting crazy. The baby showers are over and most of the nursery is done and thank God because a few days ago, Cathi was placed on permanent hospital bed rest...Once in the hospital, one of the babies' sacs started to come through her cervix and an emergency surgery had to be performed to save the babies...

During the surgery, Raiden's (triplet A) sac burst open, which helped slightly by creating more room in the Uterus...Raiden is okay and so are the other two babies...

The surgery was successful and Cathi and I are now at the hospital taking day by day...Multiple drug injections and IV drips have helped calm the contractions and Cathi is doing great so far...There was a risk of infection due to the burst sac; however, with anti-biotics and constant rest, Cathi is not experiencing any signs of infection...Please keep us in your prayers as we hope Cathi can maintain for a few more months and deliver strong healthy babies...

Cathi is 22 weeks tomorrow; we are trying at a minimum to get to 28 weeks before delivery although we know they can deliver at 24...Cathi has been amazing through this experience and continues to defy the odds...

MID-Night Feedings

Hey everyone, So my beautiful wife is getting more beautiful by the day....She has a belly at a thin 43 and 1/2 inches now and as you can see, is still an angel on earth....Cathi is now 18 weeks along....We went to the Safety Harbor Spa yesterday and enjoyed a prenatal massage for her and a deep tissue massage for me....THANKS TOM!!!!

We woke up this morning with a call from my brother in Afghanistan, who was trying to find our baby registry...THANKS PAUL!!!! He is a great brother to be sending gifts from a war zone....All else is well in the Long household and we are going to tour the NICU at Bayfront Hospital today in order to get and idea about the layout...

This pregnancy is the first time since I met Cathi that she has woken in the middle of the night starving for food...Those little babies suck everything up like cute versions of a tape worm...I guess they are getting her and I ready for middle of the night feedings....Thank you all for the kind thoughts and words....Keep checking the blog, we are doing our best to keep it updated....Love you All!!

Two Boys and a Girl

There you have it folks…Two boys and a girl…Gwyn sure will have a rough time dating when she gets older…Here is a picture where you can make out all three of them; or at least some of them. Ryker is on top, you can't make out much of him but he is there...Then obviously there is Gwyn, photogenic and demanding to have her face in the photo...Poor little Raiden is off to the right...You can't make out much of anything other than Gwyn's face, but notice you can see the "Y" that is formed between them all...That is their individual sacs that they are inside of...Like three little monkeys in a potato sac, they are all fighting for room and attention from those watching...We can't wait to meet them...

Meet Raiden Landon Long

The last to meet but not the least…is our second little BOY! Raiden is by far the most abused brother…Ryker was squoosed, but there isn’t quite a name for what is happening to Raiden in the womb…Everytime we tried to get a photo of Raiden, Gwyn would pop into the picture, shove him over and get her picture taken again. The best picture we have of Raiden, is him cuddling with Gwyn…This little boy will most likely be the best cuddler in the world…Okay, so Gwyn is off to the left and Raiden is on the right with his hand over his head like he is defending himself from his sister's annoyance...If you look closely, you can see the outline of Raiden's brow and the outline of his little nose...

Meet Ryker London Long

Now meet the second of the Trio…This is our little BOY! Ryker is Squooshed into his little sac next to his sister’s feet. The poor little guy just wants some room…We were able to get some decent photos of his face and little hands, but you can tell he is just so hurting for some room…I bet he can’t wait until he gets out into his own little crib, he won’t know what to do with himself!

Ryker is looking down with his hands just below his face. You can see his little legs down at the bottom...His ankles are crossed...

Meet…Gwyneth Bella Long

To the right is a photo of our little GIRL! Her name is Gwyneth Bella Long…She is truly Cathi’s child…She takes up all of the room in her tummy, just like Cathi takes up all of the room in the bed! During the Ultrasound, Little Gwyn kept pushing the others to the side trying to get into the video. She was hogging all of the camera time and stretching out trying to take up all of the space.

Cathi swears she is sucking her thumb during the video…Most of the time she had her hands up by her face…The only time she took her hands from her face was when the others were getting some face time…Then she would take her hands down and nudge her way into the other photos… The funniest part is that everyone thought Gwyn was squooshed until they saw the other little ones being pushed around by their sister...

Enjoy…

Survey Results

Voting booths are now closed...Thank you all for voting and I promise are survey results our more accurate than the presidential votes in Florida...36% of the voters thought we were going to have two girls and a boy; 5% thought all three would be girls; another 5% thought all three would be boys; and the other 36% thought we are going to have two boys and a girl.


Those are the results of the survey. Now it is time to meet the babies and find out how many boy(s) and how many girl(s) we are having….Oh and enjoy another photo!

Three Dimensional Miracles

On Saturday Cathi and I went to “Meet The Baby,” an Ultrasound place that provides the service of viewing our little unborn miracles in the 3rd and 4th Dimension…It was amazing! We started the session out with a verification of the sex of our babies, which will be revealed in the next few posts as all of the votes are collected.

To the right is an example of one of the 3d photos we received.

Three Heads Are Better Than One

On tuesday we had another Ultrasound at what is now 15 and 1/2 weeks. The triplets are becoming mighty cramped in their little baby condos. Their full size is about equal to an apple.

While Cathi carries around three little apples in her tummy, my job is to attempt the impossible. A magic trick so mind blowing it would make Criss Angel look like an amatuer (Not that he already doesn't). I WILL ATTEMPT, AT GREAT RISK TO MYSELF, TO COMPLETE ALL OF MY HONEY-DO-LIST BEFORE THE BABIES ARRIVE!!!! I KNOW! AMAZING ISN'T IT?! You know clean the garage, hang some gutters, paint some gutters, paint the Nursery, put up some molding, build a dollhouse, keep the grass mowed, wash all the cars. Cathi has been awesome trying to help, but we all need to make her rest more.

Many do not think it can be done, but I am making an effort.

Enjoy, I will try to post more soon, I have been having computer issues and my photos are not wanting to attach....COMPUTERS!! AAGGHHH!

A New Beginning

So here is a picture of our newly acquired urban assault vehicle...This mean machine has truly brought about the reality of life...."I am getting older." I will not be truly an old man until this is traded in for my mid-life crisis vehicle, which has yet to be determined.

One of my close friends said, "You know we are getting old, when we think minivans are pimp."

This statement speaks so much truth and yet I find myself eagerly awaiting the in person introduction with my children. I embrace this massive hunk of man-less-ness and I am excited about the beginning of a different kind of life, one blessed with that amazing smile and laugh that only a child can give.

Although this new beginning will bring with it amazaing challenges that I cannot foresee and have never faced before; my fears of the unknown have been calmed by all of the kind thoughts and words of our friends and family throughout this rollercoaster of emotion.

Go Triplets!

I am glad to hear that many of you wish I would update the blog more. I did not know there were numerous people checking it so often. Cathi and I are doing awesome and soon the sex of the babies will be revealed. I have some new Ultrasound pictures that I will hopefully be posting tonight when I get off of work…..The Ultrasound from yesterday was great. The doctors are amazed at how well the babies are doing. They are all measuring 15 weeks and 4 days, which is right on track!

The babies are definitely forming there own personalities. Triplets A and B are still as active as ever, rolling around and constantly bugging triplet C to wake up and play. Triplet C just ignores them and keeps napping. Triplet C was cuddling with Triplet B yesterday during the Ultrasound. All of their heartbeats were measuring about 150 beats per minute.

My sister was nice enough to lend us her stethoscope to listen to the babies; so at night when we are bored, we listen to the babies rolling around and dancing in Cathi’s tummy. It is the coolest thing to hear, sometimes they wooosh around and sometimes they tap at the stethoscope. It is almost as if they know we are listening and they are trying to communicate.

Cathi can feel the flutters now and can tell which babies are moving. The baby showers are coming up so keep your eyes open for invites!

Online Baby Shower

Hello Everyone!

Today starts the online baby shower! We are having several baby showers to celebrate the blessing that we will be receiving soon; however, for those of you that will not be able to make the baby showers we have added a "Donation" link for anyone who wants to help us out. HEY! Babies need lots of diapers and formula and we are having three, so drop a buck or ten.

We are also registered at Babys R' Us and Target for those of you who want to send something else. We are registered under Cathi and Logan Long. You can also shop at these places online!

We love you all!

The Minivan Man

Yes folks, it is true....Logan Long and his wife Cathi have purchased a minivan...We are now truly domesticated....Gone are the days of impractical transportation....A new day has dawned, the days of spilled milk and cheerios between the seats; the days of crying and pooping in the second row; the days of near miss accidents and dazed fatigue; these are the days women dream of, and men fear....These are the days of the MINIVAN MAN !!!!!!!!

This newly aquired spaceship style urban assault vehicle will be piloted by mere human adults; but sternly commanded by "THE TRIPLETS!" Weap with me my friends, on this day of testicular loss, but rejoice because soon the first, second, and third (and last) coming of urban dismounts will be created from the womb of the most beautiful goddess....These glorious sex trophies will be proudly displayed in the leathery rows of the almighty HONDA ODYSSEY.

Cathi is having another Ultrasound on tuesday and we will be finding out the sex on September 13th, so make sure and cast your votes soon!

We are finding out the sexes of the babies on September 13th So you need to make your VOTE now!!!!!!

Everything has been going well. I am 13 weeks this week, finally into the second trimester. I have a lot more energy. We are doing the 4D ultrasound to find the sexes out. We will try to post pictures as soon as possible!!!!

Baby Condo's

Well, we are almost 12 weeks along. We had another Ultrasound today and the babies are doing awesome!!! When the Ultrasound technician places the camera thing over my tummy, you can see a little baby condominium inside my belly. Baby A Is the lowest and he/she is the most active but also the smallest. Baby B is also extremely active, playing non stop with baby A. When we watch them on the screen it looks like a little TV drama where you have two loud roommates below you on the first floor and then there is a top level, penthouse above; this is where Baby C resides. He/she is the largest of the three, and the laziest. A and B were kicking and rolling all over the place having a house party and Baby C was just curled up sucking her/his lil’ thumb trying to get some rest. When the Dr. checked their necks for signs of Down syndrome, baby A and B were easy to check because they kept dancing around showing themselves off as if they were on “America’s Best Dance Crew.” Baby C; however, was a little more difficult, they made me keep coughing in attempts to get baby C to roll over. It was the cutest thing; while they were focused in on Baby C, Baby A's hands would come into the screen as if he/she was telling baby C to roll over. After Baby A & B helped me get C to roll over, Baby C got checked and measured and then curled right back up, cuddling the Baby Condo walls and went back to resting. Logan and I couldn't stop laughing; we could have watched them all day long…

Baby C

I am the biggest and the laziest......all I want to do is stay curled in a ball all day sucking my thumb.

Baby B

I'm also active....me and baby A are going to get into a lot of trouble together.

Baby A

I'm the smallest and most active.

Thanksgiving in JULY!!!!!

Well we are 10 weeks along this week. I am still feeling pretty great. No morning sickness (Knock on wood) even the Doctor’s are amazed. I am getting bigger everyday. I have had a few weird cravings. My first few weeks of pregnancy I craved Lobster Bisque. This week I craved my Mom’s Thanksgiving Dinner. So what does my family do, of coarse we have Thanksgiving in July!!!!! My whole family got together and my mom cooked her fabulous meal. The boys searched for Football on the TV, but had to settle for Baseball. They can nap to any sport. J I ate so much I added another inch to my waist line. I am already up to 41 inches around. The rest of me looks the same, (Thank God).

We will be updating the pictures of my ever growing tummy every few weeks. The babies have really had a growth spurt since the last ultrasound. They have fingers and toes that move and are more defined. We can’t wait till the next ultrasound next week. We are thinking of doing a 4D ultrasound. If anyone has any knowledge on the 4D ultrasounds I would love your help. I know they can be expensive and want to make sure they are worth the money. Thanks again for everyone’s support!!! We are so excited and excited about our growing family…. Cathi

Here We Are!!!

So here is a decent shot of all three of the perfect little miracles that have been blessed upon my wife and I. Both Cathi and I are strong believers that the babies can feel everything that is going on, so I make extra efforts to make Cathi laugh and we always try to stay in a positive mood regardless of the negative things people try to throw at us.

Cathi and I are well aware that this is a high risk pregnancy, but isn't it true that the best outcomes are from those things that involve risks. Not that we purposely tried to have three children, but now that we are, we know that we will have the best three little babies ever made.

I can't wait until the next pictures are taken. We will have some new pictures around the middle of August when we hit the 12 week mark. Keeping checking in for updates as our little miracles grow.

Cathi and I are very excited about our new family additions. We are both police officers and do not make tons of money. we are always looking for good advice and inexpensive baby stuff. Email us if you have any ideas or suggestions: L2infantry@gmail.com

See You Soon!

The third little miracle measured 8 weeks also and is anxious to meet mommy and daddy. It is the most amazing thing to look at these photos and to imagine what is going on.

You know the babies don't really know yet, but sometimes you look at the images and swear one of them is waving at you or moving around purposely because they are camera shy.

Cathi and I are very excited about our new family additions. We are both police officers and do not make tons of money. we are always looking for good advice and inexpensive baby stuff. Email us if you have any ideas or suggestions: L2infantry@gmail.com

Yes, I Take Up More Room

This little one was measured at exactly eight weeks and appeared to be the largest. The Ultrasound tech labeled this with the quote, "Yes I take up more room." This may be the smartest of the group since this little miracle had the biggest head.

Cathi and I are very excited about our new family additions. We are both police officers and do not make tons of money. we are always looking for good advice and inexpensive baby stuff. Email us if you have any ideas or suggestions: L2infantry@gmail.com

Hi Mommy and Daddy

This little one was measured at 7 weeks and 6 days and seems to be the smallest of the three. I did get to see the little toes and fingers that are emerging and the most beautiful heartbeat.

What a miracle!

Cathi and I are very excited about our new family additions. We are both police officers and do not make tons of money. we are always looking for good advice and inexpensive baby stuff. Email us if you have any ideas or suggestions: L2infantry@gmail.com

Hi Grandma and Grandpa

Monday was the beginning of the eighth week and it is finally starting to sink in that we are having triplets. The joy and anxiety are overwhelming. Cathi and I nothing but excited about our new family and cannot wait to meet the little ones.

This week the babies are sprouting their little feet and hands and are starting to show the little fingers and toes we will be nibbling on and everyone else will be trying to grab. This picture says "Hi Grandma and Grandpa." Our Ultrasound tech was so nice to give us a ton of pictures with little sayings so we could show our family.

Cathi and I are very excited about our new family additions. We are both police officers and do not make tons of money. we are always looking for good advice and inexpensive baby stuff. Email us if you have any ideas or suggestions: L2infantry@gmail.com