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Sunday, October 2, 2016

It has been a long time....

Today is October 2nd, 2016 and it has been so many years since I posted anything on this blog.

I had a friend over tonight after a long night at work who out of the blue asked me if I had lost children.  It made me happy that he asked me because it gave me an opportunity to tell there story.  I showed him the shadow boxes on the wall in my home and told him about the pain of our loss, but more importantly the lessons and joy that have come from the pain.

Lessons about how much more I love my daughter Megyn and truly cherish the time I get to spend with her.

He confided in me later that it gave him a different perspective about things and Cathi and I's goal has always been to talk openly about out loss in the hopes that parents hug their children tighter; gaze at them longer with more appreciation of their existence and to really take the time to look past the frustrations of the annoyance that our children can cause us when they call mommy and daddy too many times and to just be thankful they need us and love us.

Cathi and I now have a beautiful 6 and a half year old daughter, Megyn who is the most perfect child. I still think often about how fortunate we really our to have her in our life.

I don't know if anyone ever reads this stuff and really don't care.  Over the past 8 years I have only cried a handful of times in grief of my children.  It's not because I am cold or heartless, but because I never really get to grieve.  Life is always moving on.  My job doesn't care or remember my loss, even my parents just want me to "get over it."  The truth is; YOU NEVER GET OVER IT.  It is part of you forever.

I got to cry for a short time tonight when my friend asked about them and I got to remember them.  I didn't have to hold up my wife while she cried or tell someone else that it was okay because just me telling the story was too much for them to deal with.  My friend just listened and when he left, I wrote this and had a good healthy cry.  If anyone does still read this,
Thank you


1 comment:



I stumbled across this blog when I found out I was pregnant with triplets. Our story is similar to yours; mine were born at 23.5 weeks. Our "Baby A" was stillborn. "Baby C" made it a few days and we got to hold her in our arms as she passed. "Baby B" fought for a month, and just a few weeks ago we again got to hold her as she joined her sisters. I would love to hear more from you and your sweet wife about the grieving process. It's sure been tough. Thank you so much for your openness and sharing your story with others.